Eric reporting from 3239 9th St....
Over several days at home my mother has been eating more food and getting up and around, for example to be at the Christmas Eve dinner table and at gift exchanges (accomplished in several stages over two days). This is good to see and also incongruous, given the prognosis offered by the doctors.
My mother and I have just enjoyed a good evening of quiet talking, along with my reading to her all of your comments on the blog. On several occasions while reading I had to pause to let myself fully feel your love and caring -- and let the tears and choked-up feeling pass. Very moving, much appreciated. She just noted what a joy it is to be alive to hear this kind of thing, instead of people coming forth only at a service.
All the other primary and satellite caregivers (Marian, Bob, Bill, Catherine), along with Ariel, Brian and Aidan, are out at the movies tonight (Marley and Me for Ariel and Brian, and Milk for the adults and San Francisco-native Aidan, who I noticed has a copy on his bed at our house of A People's History of American Empire). This night out is a rare break for Marian, Bob, and my father.
Today Bob started recording my mother with the micro digital recorder, covering narratives and memories up to elementary school age. I recorded some more tonight, including her comments on blog letters. It is good to be underway and spending time in the zone of Celebrating Life and Being in the Moment (as opposed to other sector, Death and Dying). We are shifting to the former zone as much as possible, given my mother's upswing in energy.
Best wishes back to everyone who has written, brought food, offered and/or provided support, and even just thought about my mother (the latter being what she says is all she has ever done for anyone else, through the years). What my mother has taught me at a fundamental level: May we cherish and make the most of each day!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
From Boulder Community Hospital, with new prognosis
Eric here, sitting with Nancy in the Family Care Center (euphemism for the hospital's cancer ward). She says:
We have learned in the last two days that the cancer is spreading and creating fluid at a very rapid rate, to the extent that fluid is up around my lungs. There was some progress for breathing and comfort two nights ago when a lot of fluid was drained from my abdomen, but this cancer is very aggressive. The oncologists have decided that chemo is not likely to be helpful. The prognosis now is several weeks.
In two days I hope to be home and in the care of a very good hospice team. Tomorrow I am getting a tube put in that will allow me to drain the excess fluid at home.
Marian is here for the duration, and Aidan and Bob are visiting. If Aidan stays into the next school term, he will live at Solar Harvest with Ariel, Brian, Catherine and Eric and attend Ariel's school in Boulder.
I deeply appreciate all the love and care that has been expresssed. And I look forward to a reasonably comfortable holiday time, since I am not in much pain and surrounded by such warmth and support.
I am mainly focusing on being with family but do want to have visits from other loved ones. Marian is coordinating short visits, 415-730-1873, or email (slower response) mdoub@mindspring.com
We have learned in the last two days that the cancer is spreading and creating fluid at a very rapid rate, to the extent that fluid is up around my lungs. There was some progress for breathing and comfort two nights ago when a lot of fluid was drained from my abdomen, but this cancer is very aggressive. The oncologists have decided that chemo is not likely to be helpful. The prognosis now is several weeks.
In two days I hope to be home and in the care of a very good hospice team. Tomorrow I am getting a tube put in that will allow me to drain the excess fluid at home.
Marian is here for the duration, and Aidan and Bob are visiting. If Aidan stays into the next school term, he will live at Solar Harvest with Ariel, Brian, Catherine and Eric and attend Ariel's school in Boulder.
I deeply appreciate all the love and care that has been expresssed. And I look forward to a reasonably comfortable holiday time, since I am not in much pain and surrounded by such warmth and support.
I am mainly focusing on being with family but do want to have visits from other loved ones. Marian is coordinating short visits, 415-730-1873, or email (slower response) mdoub@mindspring.com
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Appreciative for Worldwide Support - From Nancy
Eric here, with Nancy at Rose Medical Center. "What would you like to say on the website, Mom?"
"I would like to say how much I appreciate all the support. I am still dealing with bowel obstructions but looking forward to going home later this week. I am particularly impressed with the kind thoughts and eloquent words from so many people, including an amazing range from Maoris to Sundancers to Choirs to Hindu and Buddhist healers."
Ariel and Brian are visiting for the first time. For a while, Brian sat bedside and held his grandmother's hand. The Tigger stuffed animal Brian gave "Mahgoosh" today (the nickname Ariel gave Nancy, when Ariel was 3) was drawn by Ariel the Artist, and this drawing joined dozens of cards posted on the bulletin board in Nancy's room.
Based on what the surgeon has told her in the last few days, Nancy now has a list. Spend time with the grandchildren, as well as family and friends; write her autobiography; catch up on the photo albums; finish the miniature stable from here childhood that she has brought back to life and shared with her grandchildren. For the life story, a new Olympus mini digital recorder is set up and standing by -- 24 hours of recording are available, as a start. When Nancy is home, she will make a list of topics and then record her stories, and we will send this off to be transcribed. Then Nancy will have an editing expedition to embark on.
The idea just came to the group here to post what Nancy wrote and sent to her alma mater, Pomona College, in preparation for 50th reunion in April 2009. This was sent just before her 71st birthday, the weekend before the surgery that found the cancer. It was supposed to be 300 words. Here is that version:
I feel that since Pomona I’ve followed my bliss to some amazing places, geographically and figuratively. The journey began with my marrying Bill Doub (’57) in Germany the summer of 1959, and from there with him to Palo Alto, Taipei, Seattle, Kyoto, and Williamsburg, finally settling in Boulder, Colorado, for thirty-eight years, except for one year back in Kyoto and the last ten years living half of each year near Grass Valley, California.
Our lives together have been rich and fulfilling, and exceptionally blessed with two caring and enterprising children and their spouses and three grandchildren, all of whom are still very much part of our lives. As a family we’ve been united in working for social justice and environmental causes, and I’m proud to have risked jail by standing up to be counted in opposition to the Vietnam and Iraq wars and the production and use of nuclear weapons. Mostly, however, I have not been particularly active politically, except for the twelve years Bill and I edited and published the Bulletin of Concerned Asian Scholars, an international radical scholarly journal that enabled us, we felt, to speak truth to power about issues often ignored or misrepresented in the mainstream media.
Even though until he retired Bill’s career determined where we lived, I have generally managed to pursue my own priorities wherever we’ve been. Throughout I’ve taken particular pleasure in working with children and creating things, but otherwise I have tended to follow my interests serially, with great absorption and passion and then moving on. In Japan it was flower arranging, Japanese gardens, and the traditional Japanese aesthetic, while in Boulder it was a revival of childhood enthusiasms for tennis and riding horses, even earning local and regional rankings in both tennis and showing hunter-jumpers. Now at our home near Grass Valley we are living completely off the grid surrounded by more than thirty-five acres of forest and focusing on growing our own fruit and vegetables and thinning the forest to make it healthier and less vulnerable to fire.
My only regret is that with my many other interests and intense way of doing things I have never felt able to be the elementary school teacher I had planned to be. However, I did earn my teaching credential and worked with children in various capacities for many, many years – as an English conversation teacher in a Japanese high school, child care worker, tennis teacher, Girl Scout leader, and teaching assistant. Overall it’s been a good life, and I’m happy where following my bliss has led me.
"I would like to say how much I appreciate all the support. I am still dealing with bowel obstructions but looking forward to going home later this week. I am particularly impressed with the kind thoughts and eloquent words from so many people, including an amazing range from Maoris to Sundancers to Choirs to Hindu and Buddhist healers."
Ariel and Brian are visiting for the first time. For a while, Brian sat bedside and held his grandmother's hand. The Tigger stuffed animal Brian gave "Mahgoosh" today (the nickname Ariel gave Nancy, when Ariel was 3) was drawn by Ariel the Artist, and this drawing joined dozens of cards posted on the bulletin board in Nancy's room.
Based on what the surgeon has told her in the last few days, Nancy now has a list. Spend time with the grandchildren, as well as family and friends; write her autobiography; catch up on the photo albums; finish the miniature stable from here childhood that she has brought back to life and shared with her grandchildren. For the life story, a new Olympus mini digital recorder is set up and standing by -- 24 hours of recording are available, as a start. When Nancy is home, she will make a list of topics and then record her stories, and we will send this off to be transcribed. Then Nancy will have an editing expedition to embark on.
The idea just came to the group here to post what Nancy wrote and sent to her alma mater, Pomona College, in preparation for 50th reunion in April 2009. This was sent just before her 71st birthday, the weekend before the surgery that found the cancer. It was supposed to be 300 words. Here is that version:
I feel that since Pomona I’ve followed my bliss to some amazing places, geographically and figuratively. The journey began with my marrying Bill Doub (’57) in Germany the summer of 1959, and from there with him to Palo Alto, Taipei, Seattle, Kyoto, and Williamsburg, finally settling in Boulder, Colorado, for thirty-eight years, except for one year back in Kyoto and the last ten years living half of each year near Grass Valley, California.
Our lives together have been rich and fulfilling, and exceptionally blessed with two caring and enterprising children and their spouses and three grandchildren, all of whom are still very much part of our lives. As a family we’ve been united in working for social justice and environmental causes, and I’m proud to have risked jail by standing up to be counted in opposition to the Vietnam and Iraq wars and the production and use of nuclear weapons. Mostly, however, I have not been particularly active politically, except for the twelve years Bill and I edited and published the Bulletin of Concerned Asian Scholars, an international radical scholarly journal that enabled us, we felt, to speak truth to power about issues often ignored or misrepresented in the mainstream media.
Even though until he retired Bill’s career determined where we lived, I have generally managed to pursue my own priorities wherever we’ve been. Throughout I’ve taken particular pleasure in working with children and creating things, but otherwise I have tended to follow my interests serially, with great absorption and passion and then moving on. In Japan it was flower arranging, Japanese gardens, and the traditional Japanese aesthetic, while in Boulder it was a revival of childhood enthusiasms for tennis and riding horses, even earning local and regional rankings in both tennis and showing hunter-jumpers. Now at our home near Grass Valley we are living completely off the grid surrounded by more than thirty-five acres of forest and focusing on growing our own fruit and vegetables and thinning the forest to make it healthier and less vulnerable to fire.
My only regret is that with my many other interests and intense way of doing things I have never felt able to be the elementary school teacher I had planned to be. However, I did earn my teaching credential and worked with children in various capacities for many, many years – as an English conversation teacher in a Japanese high school, child care worker, tennis teacher, Girl Scout leader, and teaching assistant. Overall it’s been a good life, and I’m happy where following my bliss has led me.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Posting to Nancy's Recovery Blog
Click here to send your messages of love and support to Nancy by posting to this blog.
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If you do not have a Google Gmail Account, you will need to first sign up by clicking: "Sign Up Here" and creating a blogger identity by entering your username and email address on the form. The process only takes a minute or two and your email address will be protected from spam.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Not Out of the Hospital Woods Yet
Thanks so much to everyone who has called, tried to call (the phone has been unplugged most of the time, because Nancy has not had the energy to talk), sent flowers, written cards, and sent their love and support.
Nancy's surgery was 11/24/08, the day after her 71st birthday. During this procedure the surgeon found and removed a basketball-sized growth, calling what he found uterine sarcoma. The cancer had already spread into her abdomen and was visible as nodules on the small intestine. Other organs were not affected. At that time we were told to expect the pathology report, which would give us the essential information about cell type, and spread of the cancer, by the end of the week. Now it is 8 days post surgery, and the report is finally due tomorrow, 12/2. The consult with the surgeon is not for a week, we are told. Of course we hope it will be sooner, because that session will be the launching point for determining treatment.
The hospital stay after the operation has been pretty much all suffering. As the days wore on I came to nickname my dear mother The Plumbing Project, due to all of the tubes and equipment attached to and inside of her: IVs, of course, but also a food tube into the vein in her arm and up into a major vein in her neck, a bile-removal tube through her nose and into her stomach, and of course oxygen. Sleeping on her back on the bed is painful, and so the chair in room has been where she sleeps at night -- I call it "Amtraking It." Miserable!
Marian has been the Visiting Nurse and Family Caretaker / Advocate / Calming Supporter, staying at the hospital every other night and doing two nights in a row just now. Bill has stayed overnight several times and is there tonight. Marian and Bill have read two novels and other pieces to Nancy.
Nancy's voice is quite hoarse, with the tube still in place. She will not be able to take calls...for a couple days, is what we are hoping. The protocol is that a patient has to be eating and functioning normally in order to leave the hospital. She should be home, optimistically speaking, in two days.
Your messages and posts on this Blogspot will be read to her.
We welcome all suggestions on modalities and care: herbs, tea, acupuncture, specialists, diet, lifestyle, and on and on. And if you don't send anything but your support and good wishes, by thought and spirit, I believe those will be felt by Nancy and all of us.
Electronic / cyber communications: Please Post a Comment on this website
If sending something by mail:
Bill and Nancy Doub
3239 9th St.
Boulder, CO 80304
Nancy's surgery was 11/24/08, the day after her 71st birthday. During this procedure the surgeon found and removed a basketball-sized growth, calling what he found uterine sarcoma. The cancer had already spread into her abdomen and was visible as nodules on the small intestine. Other organs were not affected. At that time we were told to expect the pathology report, which would give us the essential information about cell type, and spread of the cancer, by the end of the week. Now it is 8 days post surgery, and the report is finally due tomorrow, 12/2. The consult with the surgeon is not for a week, we are told. Of course we hope it will be sooner, because that session will be the launching point for determining treatment.
The hospital stay after the operation has been pretty much all suffering. As the days wore on I came to nickname my dear mother The Plumbing Project, due to all of the tubes and equipment attached to and inside of her: IVs, of course, but also a food tube into the vein in her arm and up into a major vein in her neck, a bile-removal tube through her nose and into her stomach, and of course oxygen. Sleeping on her back on the bed is painful, and so the chair in room has been where she sleeps at night -- I call it "Amtraking It." Miserable!
Marian has been the Visiting Nurse and Family Caretaker / Advocate / Calming Supporter, staying at the hospital every other night and doing two nights in a row just now. Bill has stayed overnight several times and is there tonight. Marian and Bill have read two novels and other pieces to Nancy.
Nancy's voice is quite hoarse, with the tube still in place. She will not be able to take calls...for a couple days, is what we are hoping. The protocol is that a patient has to be eating and functioning normally in order to leave the hospital. She should be home, optimistically speaking, in two days.
Your messages and posts on this Blogspot will be read to her.
We welcome all suggestions on modalities and care: herbs, tea, acupuncture, specialists, diet, lifestyle, and on and on. And if you don't send anything but your support and good wishes, by thought and spirit, I believe those will be felt by Nancy and all of us.
Electronic / cyber communications: Please Post a Comment on this website
If sending something by mail:
Bill and Nancy Doub
3239 9th St.
Boulder, CO 80304
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